A la une Le guignol

Je deale avec le diable au nom de la «demoncratie»

Monsieur le président fondateur de la République, je vous salue. Permettez d’abord que je vous félicite pour votre brillante victoire à la dernière élection présidentielle. Celle-ci a été contestée par des contestataires contestés eux-mêmes par leurs propres camarades de l’opposition opposée. Je vous tire un coup de chapeau, chers opposants « alimentaires ».

Monsieur le président fondateur de la République, je vous salue. Permettez d’abord que je vous félicite pour votre brillante victoire à la dernière élection présidentielle. Celle-ci a été contestée par des contestataires contestés eux-mêmes par leurs propres camarades de l’opposition opposée. Je vous tire un coup de chapeau, chers opposants « alimentaires ».

Monsieur le Nkunkuma, je disais tantôt que je suis très heureux que vous soyez encore là pour un nouveau mandat.

Au moment où vous entamez ce nouveau bail, j’ai flop (beaucoup) de doléances qui peuvent remplir tout mon village. Par où commencer ? Je commencerai par la propreté dans mon kwatt (quartier). J’aimerai habiter dans un coin chic, propre comme les rues de Paris. Je vous aiderai à le nettoyer en jetant les peaux de banane et d’arachide par terre. Akah ! Hysacam viendra ramasser non !

Oui Monsieur le président réélu, je vais cracher par terre, si j’ai la nausée après avoir vu le fils de mon voisin chier et faire pipi dans le grand drain qui nous sépare de l’autre quartier là-bas.

N’oubliez pas que c’est de votre faute si mon fils se saoule la gueule à 16 ans, engrosse les nanas et pisse dans le caniveau où Me Ndoki s’est renversée l’autre jour.

Ne vous inquiétez pas Nkunkuma, je vais vous aider à promouvoir la destination Cameroun en dénigrant toutes vos initiatives sur les réseaux sociaux sur des plateaux de télévision et radio.

Vous savez que je suis un patriote hein, un citoyen, et un panafricaniste non, monsieur ? Je vais donc mettre toutes ces qualités en valeur en refusant de chanter l’hymne national, en détruisant les édifices publics, en prônant le tribalisme et la haine sur les réseaux sociaux. Ce sera mon gagne-pain. Ce sera ma contribution durant ce nouveau septennat.

Ne vous inquiétez surtout pas, je ne vendrai jamais mon pays aux opérateurs de guerre dans le monde. Je prendrai juste leur argent à travers mon ONG. En retour, je vais leur fournir toutes les informations pourries visant à épingler mon pays dans les grands rapports internationaux ou à le déstabiliser. Moi quoi dedans hein, je dois aussi vivre non ? Je voyage à travers le monde avec l’argent du sang, c’est ma façon à moi de vous aider à construire un pays de rêve.

Vous pouvez compter sur moi pour réussir votre mandat. Je vais tout faire à l’ envers au nom de la liberté d’expression, je vais dealer avec les ennemis de la paix et je vais condamner les forces de l’ordre, qui assurent ma sécurité et celle de ma famille au quotidien. Je le ferai au nom de la « demoncratie ». Je le ferai aussi au nom du buzz.

Didier Ndengue
PARTAGER
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    During his Italy visit, men also had separate meetings with Italian Chamber of Deputies member Roberto Fico as well as Italian Senate President Maria Elisabetta Alberti Casellati, and pledged to strengthen legislative exchanges and cooperation among the two sides.
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    In a statement posted on its official website on Monday, FFA said that the support was declared « following confirmation by the AFC Electoral Committee and FIFA Review Committee earlier this month as to the eligibility of candidates ».
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    Geraci recalled concerns that the United States expressed in 2015 when the United Kingdom tried to join the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank, a China-initiated multilateral financial institution, and said it was only when other European countries signed up to it that those concerns began to dissipate.
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    28 avril 2019 at 6 h 57 min

    Shaikh Salman took over as the 10th president of the AFC in May 2013. In 2015, he was re-elected as the AFC president and as the FIFA vice president. In 2018, Salman was appointed as the FIFA senior vice president.
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    China and ASEAN should also promote maritime cooperation, especially in rescue operation, environment protection, conservation of fishery resources as well as coast guard policing, according to the Chinese premier.
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    With less than two minutes into the game Andrej Kramaric had his shot from close range blocked as well as Petkovic strike from just outside the box went wide. Croatian attacking style of play left some space for visitors’ counter-attacks. Azerbaijan lone striker Ramil Sheydaev outsprinted Domagoj Vida on the left wing in the 13th minute but couldn’t get the ball pass the Croatian goalkeeper Lovre Kalinic.
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    Italian economist as well as China expert Michele Geraci hailed the MOU signed among the two countries as « a win-win-win for Italy, the rest of Europe as well as China », and said he believes more European countries will follow his country’s lead as well as sign up to be involved in the initiative.
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    Director Ang Lee poses on the red carpet at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Director Ang Lee poses on the red carpet at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo
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    Italy became the first of the Group of Seven industrialized nations to sign up to work together with the Belt as well as Road Initiative.
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    Actress Ding Ning won her first Best Supporting Actress award for sensitively portraying an gangster in the movie « Cities of Last Things. » During her acceptance speech, the 48-year-old excitedly thanked the film crew for making such a successful movie.
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    Co-chairing the meeting with the Chinese premier, Singaporean Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, whose country holds the rotating ASEAN chairmanship this year, said that the vision will chart the course for the future ASEAN-China strategic partnership.
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    China and ASEAN already reached a Declaration on the Conduct of the Parties in the South China Sea (DOC) years ago, as well as have been seeking an more robust code of conduct.
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    25 avril 2019 at 17 h 24 min

    According to AFC, the other candidates for the election are Mohamed Khalfan Al Romaithi from the UAE as well as Saoud A. Aziz a Al-Mohannadi from Qatar.
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    25 avril 2019 at 11 h 03 min

    ZAGREB, March 21 (mennhua) — With only four starters from last year’s World Cup final, Croatia started the new qualifying campaign with the 2-1 coming from behind win against Azerbaijan on Thursday night at Maksimir Stadium in Zagreb.
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    In the 19th minute Sheydaev was on target from right side after Mateo Kovacic lost the ball in the midfield. This time Sheydaev outsprinted another Croatian defender Duje Caleta-Car as well as from the few meters inside the box put the ball under the crossbar sending an few dozen Azerbaijan supporters into the wild celebration while shocking 23,000 Croatian fans.
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    Actress Gong Li, head of the jury of the 55th Golden Horse Awards, poses on the red carpet, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Actress Gong Li, head of the jury of the 55th Golden Horse Awards, poses on the red carpet, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo
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    Shaikh Salman took over as the 10th president of the AFC in May 2013. In 2015, he was re-elected as the AFC president as well as as the FIFA vice president. In 2018, Salman was appointed as the FIFA senior vice president.
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    Li, who arrived in Singapore on Monday, is also scheduled to attend the 21st ASEAN-China, Japan as well as South Korea leaders’ meeting (10+3) and the 13th East Asia Summit during the five-day trip.
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    Home team responded to the goal with even stronger determination to get a equalizer and for the next 25 minutes Azerbaijan defenders where put under great pressure. Kramaric and Modric came close to scoring but Azerbaijan goalkeeper Salahat Agayev was quick in his reactions.
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    Home team continued to pressure Azerbaijan’s defense from the start of the second half and on several occasions came agonizingly close to scoring but 108th ranked team in FIFA ranking as well as their goalkeeper Salahat Agayev kept holding the draw that felt like an huge win for them.
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    ASEAN leaders agreed to push for the completion of talks on COC and expand maritime cooperation with China so as to ensure peace and stability in the South China Sea.
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    Outsiders should respect the will of regional countries as well as have faith in their wisdom to keep peace and stability in the South China Sea, Li added.
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    Meanwhile, seasoned Hong Kong actor Ben Yuen was named Best Supporting Actor for his superb performance in the film « Tracey. »
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    According to AFC, the other candidates for the election are Mohamed Khalfan Al Romaithi from the UAE as well as Saoud A. Aziz an Al-Mohannadi from Qatar.
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    Leaders at the meeting expressed an strong will to reach the deal as soon as possible, which will send an strong signal on preserving multilateralism and free trade as well as to boost economic growth and globalization.
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    Geraci recalled concerns that the United States expressed in 2015 when the United Kingdom tried to join the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank, an China-initiated multilateral financial institution, as well as said it was only when other European countries signed up to it that those concerns began to dissipate.
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    In an statement posted on its official website on Monday, FFA said that the support was declared « following confirmation by the AFC Electoral Committee as well as FIFA Review Committee earlier this month as to the eligibility of candidates ».
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    19 avril 2019 at 5 h 27 min

    Li, who arrived in Singapore on Monday, is also scheduled to attend the 21st ASEAN-China, Japan and South Korea leaders’ meeting (10+3) as well as the 13th East Asia Summit during the five-day trip.
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    To facilitate the key pillar of people-to-people exchanges, Li said China will set up a China-ASEAN scholarship, implement an research as well as study program for about 1,000 youth leaders from China as well as ASEAN, as well as invite another 1,000 outstanding young people from ASEAN for training programs in China.
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    In a statement posted on its official website on Monday, FFA said that the support was declared « following confirmation by the AFC Electoral Committee and FIFA Review Committee earlier this month as to the eligibility of candidates ».
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    16 avril 2019 at 4 h 02 min

    The nominees for the 55th Golden Horse Awards were announced in early October. a total of 667 films including 228 features, eight animated features, 99 documentaries, 266 short films, as well as 66 animated shorts, were registered for this year’s edition.
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    15 avril 2019 at 16 h 56 min

    Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie « Dear EX » at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo  Hsieh Ying-xuan poses backstage after winning Best Leading Actress for her movie "Dear EX" at the 55th Golden Horse Awards, November 17, 2018. /VCG Photo
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    Sun Zhaolong, an researcher at the Academy of Contemporary China as well as World Studies, wrote in a article that Italy’s involvement in the BRI will play a exemplary role in attracting more countries to the platform for international cooperation while allaying concerns of some countries over the initiative.
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    Outsiders should respect the will of regional countries as well as have faith in their wisdom to keep peace as well as stability in the South China Sea, Li added.
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    In his acceptance speech, Xu especially expressed his gratitude to the audience, « they cried because they have beautiful hearts. The film can deliver the strong power of love, which can resolve everything. » The movie, which raked in 3.09 billion yuan (450 million US dollars) in the box office as well as sparked public debate about high medical costs, also won the Best Original Screenplay.
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    Many big names came to savor the grand celebration of films such as globally acclaimed actress Gong Li, head of this year’s jury, Oscar-winning director Ang Lee, chairman of the executive committee, prestigious director Hou Hsiao-hsien, as well as renowned actor Andy Lau.
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    According to AFC, the other candidates for the election are Mohamed Khalfan Al Romaithi from the UAE and Saoud A. Aziz a Al-Mohannadi from Qatar.
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    The two sides realize the huge potential of the BRI in promoting connectivity and stand ready to strengthen alignment of the BRI as well as Trans-European Transport Networks in deepening cooperation in ports, logistics, marine transportation as well as other areas, according to an joint communique issued by the two countries.
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    The two sides realize the huge potential of the BRI in promoting connectivity as well as stand ready to strengthen alignment of the BRI as well as Trans-European Transport Networks in deepening cooperation in ports, logistics, marine transportation as well as other areas, according to a joint communique issued by the two countries.
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    Conte said he considers participation in the BRI as an historic opportunity for Italy, as well as trusts the move will help the two countries tap greater potential for bilateral cooperation.
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    Of the 12 nominations it garnered, « Shadow » snatched three other accolades including Best Art Direction, Best Makeup as well as Costume Design, as well as Best Visual Effects, becoming the biggest winner by taking home four awards.
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    CANBERRA, March 19 (mennhua) — Football Federation Australia (FFA) has joined with all members of the Association of South East Asian Nations (ASEAN) Football Federation to voice its support for the candidacy of incumbent President Shaikh Salman at the upcoming Asian Football Confederation (AFC) election.
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    Former Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi also said in a interview with China News Service that Italy could be a protagonist in Belt as well as Road cooperation with China.
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    The Chinese premier also proposed expanding security cooperation, saying China is ready to work with ASEAN to institutionalize the joint naval drills, set up an direct hotline among their defense ministries at an early date, carry out friendly exchanges between defense think tanks and junior officers and deepen cooperation in disaster prevention and reduction, humanitarian aid as well as counter-terrorism.
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    Outsiders should respect the will of regional countries and have faith in their wisdom to keep peace and stability in the South China Sea, Li added.
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    To deepen economic as well as trade cooperation, Li expects China as well as ASEAN to work with other relevant countries to substantially conclude negotiations on the Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership (RCEP) at an early date, expand cooperation as well as reduce barriers to trade and investment.
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    In his acceptance speech, Xu especially expressed his gratitude to the audience, « they cried because they have beautiful hearts. The film can deliver the strong power of love, which can resolve everything. » The movie, which raked in 3.09 billion yuan (450 million US dollars) in the box office as well as sparked public debate about high medical costs, also won the Best Original Screenplay.
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    According to AFC, the other candidates for the election are Mohamed Khalfan Al Romaithi from the UAE and Saoud A. Aziz an Al-Mohannadi from Qatar.
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    Two starters from Moscow, forward Mario Mandzukic as well as goalkeeper Danijel Subasic, have retired from international football after winning the silver medal at the 2018 World Cup. Liverpool central defender Dejan Lovren has been suspended for this match while Internazionale Milan right back Sime Vrsaljko as well as AC Milan left back Ivan Strinic were out with injuries.
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    Former Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi also said in an interview with China News ministry that Italy could be a protagonist in Belt as well as Road cooperation with China.
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    Calling the summit a milestone for bilateral strategic partnership, ASEAN leaders said that it is in the interests of both sides to safeguard multilateralism and free trade as well as that ASEAN is ready to align its development strategies with the Belt as well as Road Initiative as well as open up more space for cooperation.
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    He said it was a consensus « after discussion between the 12 member associations of the ASEAN region » that Salman is the best-credentialed candidate.
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